Posted by: Mexmarr | January 7, 2016

Our Move to Mexico

I know I already posted about Christmas, but I still want to back up and share life before that.

We officially left Arizona to move to Mexico on December 1st. It was a big job, but I had help and we got the work done and the trailer loaded. It was a super slow trip, as the full trailer bogged down our brakes and we couldn’t go very fast. All in all, it took us 27 hours. Our first stop was in Mesa, AZ where we signed the paperwork to officially close on our house in Buckeye. No turning back now!

We arrived in Mexico and spent the first night with friends. The next day we arrived at our first house and started unloading. We will be in this house till the end of January, and then we move to our long term house.

After being in Mexico just 6 days, we turned right around and left for a family reunion in Colorado! We celebrated Christmas with Nathan’s family, as well as his dad’s 70th birthday. We were up in the mountains and the kids were excited for the snow! We headed back to Cuauhtemoc and got even more snow there!

We discovered that we had some boxes stolen at the boarder crossing in Nathan’s first trailer load. I mentioned the jackets and gifts in the other blog post, but on farther investigation we discovered more missing boxes. These were kitchen and bulk food and bulk herb items. It hurt to see the losses, but it was also good to see God use other people to come behind us and help supply those needs.

We’ve had some trouble getting the money we got from our AZ house into Mexico to give to the seller of the new house we plan to buy. Please pray with us that we can get that worked out in time!

It’s has been a bit of a culture shock coming here. I know I lived in Mexico 12 years, but this place is vastly different from any Mexican culture that I have ever been in. We are living smack in the middle of the Russian Mennonite Community. Everything about their culture is different, and their first 2 languages are high and low German. They may or may not speak English and/or Spanish.

We attended a German Christmas event. It was a unique experience! We have been attending a Spanish speaking church about an hour from town, and it has been good to have that fellowship. Most of what we have seen keeps the different cultures very separate. This church has Russian Mennonite, Mexican and Tarahumara all together. And now Americans as well. We are grateful to have a place to fellowship with other believers until we get a church established here.

The kids have met some neighborhood children and made new friends. They seem to be adjusting quite well to the changes and enjoying life here. The do have their times of sadness and missing home, but that it to be expected. All In all the move and and changes are going well. It will be. Interesting g to see what the days and weeks ahead of us hold!

(We’ve since made a 2nd trip, but I’m saving that for the next blog post.)

Posted by: Mexmarr | December 26, 2015

Christmas Lessons

Christmas! Sometimes Christmas is full of laughter and joy, and sometimes it brings up sadness and hurt. Sometimes both. But Christmas always seems to come with a plethora of emotions.

This Christmas I woke up lamenting. I lamented what we didn’t have, what we couldn’t do. It didn’t feel like it could be much of a Christmas.

We had no decorations in our semi-moved in house. I had been sick much of the previous week, so not only had I not been able to make things feel a bit more Christmasy, I hadn’t been able to do much of anything, and the house showed it. We had no gifts. All the Christmas presents we had for Christmas Day had been stolen at the Mexican boarder crossing. (Except 1 for Nathan!) All-in-all, Christmas seemed like a bleak prospect.

That morning I wrestled with those emotions. I wanted to be discouraged. It felt like the natural reaction. But as I prayed, I realized that natural wasn’t justification for wrong. I decided to chose joy. I would be joyful, if only for my children and to teach them to be joyful in the midst of trials.

But Christmas played out differently than I expected! In the end it wasn’t me who taught my children a lesson. It was them who taught me!

We weren’t present-less! My children rallied together! They wrapped hoarded nickels. The tore out favorite coloring pages to wrap up for a sibling to color. They wrote notes, and printed pictures off the computer. Favorite hair bands passed from one girl to another. Little children’s old toys were wrapped and then given right back to the original owner. Personal items were re wrapped and given as a group gift for all to share.

They were all super simple things. I had been aware of some of those plans, but on their own, none of them even seemed gift worthy, and I didn’t count them.

When it came time for the gift exchange, I was a little hesitant that it would be disappointing. But, NO! My children were delighting in the small sacrifices they made for each other. There were shouts of glee, laughter and JOY! Love abounded!

Then we went on a nice leisurely walk together, explored the neighborhood and just enjoyed being together.

Wow, what a reminder of how much more valuable family love is, compared to all the things I had lamented. I think that my kids will look back at this first Christmas back in Mexico as a special memory. I know I will!

Posted by: Mexmarr | November 17, 2015


A few days ago someone asked me if I was pregnant. I told them no.  I mentioned to someone else that Susanna had passed the age that Philip was when I got pregnant with her.

I had had some nagging symptoms already.  First I stopped losing weight, and it stalled and then I started gaining.  I was also really hungry a lot.  I blamed the weight on the food, of course.  Then I gagged over floaties in my water.  That should have been a dead giveaway!  Susanna was also a bit fussy when nursing sometimes.

But somehow, I didn’t connect the symptoms.  Then, the night before last, I dreamed that I was pregnant.  When I woke up, I took a pregnancy test, just because it seemed logical to do after a dream like that.

To my surprise, there were 2 dark lines right away!  There was no squinting or questioning.  It was clear cut, no questions asked – POSITIVE!!!

I haven’t set down to figure out exactly when I conceived, but best I can figure, I am due somewhere in the first two weeks of July.

The kids are all quite excited. There is already much discussion about names.  I think my siblings have the most opinions in that matter. 😉

I would appreciate your prayers, as I will be packing and moving internationally, then taking a trip to CO, back to Mexico and then a trip to my parents.  Back again and then another move within the same town – all in my first trimester!  I am also nervous to about trying to find a new midwife in Mexico…

I will need prayers for strength and endurance and I push through all that needs to be done.  But I know that the end results will be so worth the challenges.



Posted by: Mexmarr | November 13, 2015

This Past Year and Changes coming!

It is hard to believe that the year is quickly coming to an end.  It has been a bittersweet year for us, many trials coupled with joys, plus many changes yet to come!

Susanna was born early this year, and she is such a delightful baby.  She brings much laughter and joy to everyone, and is most definitely loved by her siblings.  She is pulling up and I suspect that she will be an early walker.

You may already know that in January Rosy had a head injury, giving her a concussion.  She suffered a 2nd injury a few months later, before the first had healed, and this one turned our life completely upside down.  Long story made short, we have seen neurologists and specialists.  They pretty much say they hope a full recovery is possible in time and that it could take 1-2 years.

For the first few months it felt like we lost our daughter completely.  She was unable to play, sing, work, do school…. AT ALL.  She could not interact with her siblings in any way.  This was by far the hardest challenge I have experienced in my life.

God was gracious and we were able to get her into the HANSA Center, where I go for Lyme treatment, and they were able to bring her healing to another level.  Fast forward to now, and Rosy is able to interact well much of the time.  She can hold herself together when she is with other people, but can only handle so much interaction before she crashes.  When her head is feeling more stable, she can play and sing well, and can do some chores.  She has been able to do school work for a few months now.  I had to change up her school work to better suite her new levels of ability, though.

So, we praise God for the progress Rosy has made, but we would appreciate continued prayers, as her injuries still affect our family pretty significantly, on a daily basis. We still have a long road ahead of us.

Gracie is blossoming!  We are getting a better idea of how little she really sees, but she is learning more and more how to use the vision she does have.  She is our thinker and her questions keeps us on our toes!  Rosy and Gracie will turn 11 and 12 next month!

Lizzie and Andy (8 and 7) are our buddy pair.  They are experts at disappearing and can usually be found up a tree, in a ditch, catching lizards or chasing goats.  They tolerate school and look forward to the next adventure.

Bekah and Ruthie (5 and 3) are our other set of buddies, but they are more likely to be found playing dolls.  These two love school and it is hard to keep them in enough workbooks.  They especially love me to read to them.

Philip will be 2 in November, and still qualifies for baby status with his siblings.  He is a unique little fellow, generally solemn but content.  He is my only one that actually likes to be put to bed.  We had to chuckle last night as he danced his way to the bedroom when Nathan called him to come to bed. Philip’s biggest life lesson at the moment is learning “we do not dump.”  If it can be dumped, Philip dumps it, water, shampoo, basket of toys, container of oil.  Last night it was a full container of smoked paprika!

And now for our big family news!  For years, we have sought God’s will about returning to Mexico.  We have tried to pursue that multiple times, but God always closed the door and indicated that it wasn’t the right timing.  That has changed!

Nathan was recently commissioned by our church and will be sent out to plant a church in Cuauhtemoc, Chihuahua, Mexico.  Nathan has already made several trips down and He will be leaving November 2nd to take the first half of our belongs and to seek a house to rent.  The plan is for the whole family to move on December 1st.

This will be a giant change for our family, and will not all be easy.  We have loved the past 8 years at our church, and we will sorely miss the fellowship and friends we have here.  But we are confidant that this is Gods leading, and we are ready to take this step.

Here is a link to our Mexico Mission website for more information, and we will be doing ministry email updates, as well.

The last few months have been a whirlwind of decluttering, organizing, selling off belongings, transferring Nathan’s business over to a friend, and preparing to sell our house.  We appreciate continued prayers as we walk through these changes.

I have been doing better, physically, than I have in many years.  I’ve started a new supplement called Kayani, and it has done amazing things for me.  I can function and work hard through the day.  Pain levels are significantly reduced, and there is a huge reduction of brain fog and neurological challenges.  I am even branching out and starting to drive!  Since starting Kyani, I have been able to reduce my lyme treatments from 5-6 days a week to 2 days a week!  This has been a huge blessing in our lives.  Here is some info on the products, for those interested.

Posted by: Mexmarr | November 13, 2015

Of Books and Babies!


Philip is now 9 months and so much has happened since then!  I’ll start with the big new, and yes, it is the news that you are likely expecting when you see an update from us! 😉

We are grateful to God for new life!  God is giving us another child due in February.  Everyone is excited about this new little one, and most of the kids are voting for twins!

Another big development in our life is regarding Nathan’s work.  At the end of last year, Nathan was told that he needed to find a new job, soon, due to the company possibly being sold.  As we prayed about which direction to go, God opened doors for Nathan to start Marr Yard Service.

Nathan has been working for himself since January and God has blessed this endeavor.  He has been able to completely replace his former income.  This change has been a blessing, as it allows him to work on his own schedule.  No more 3:00 am mornings and he is also freed up for ministry opportunities that come his way.  Nathan continues as a pastor/elder at our church, as well.

Earlier this year, we decided that I needed to make another trip to The Hansa Center for more Lyme Disease treatment,  This time, I flew up there with Rosy (10) and Philip. Nathan’s mom came and stayed with Nathan and the kids. I was in treatment for 2 weeks, and we saw some major improvement.

My doctor said that last year I was like a car with a dead engine and this year I was like a functioning car with just enough gas to get around the corner.  While I have had significant healing and improvement, I still have a ways to go.  My visit to Hansa in February took me to a new level of healing.  It gave my body what it needed to function better.

I have had a few lyme setbacks since the beginning of this pregnancy, but nothing more than I would expect.  I am still significantly better than I was before my trip to HANSA.

My other big news is that I am writing a book called, “Lessons Learned:  My Journey through Pregnancy, Miscarriage and Preterm Labor.”  I expect it to be in print within a month or so, and I will give more information when it is available.  It was a fun process, and a fulfillment of a dream!  I already have a 2nd book in mind!

It’s here!  My book, Lessons Learned: My Journey through Pregnancy, Miscarriage, and Preterm Labor is officially available!

I am excited to reach the end of the writing/publishing stage and to announce the launch of my new book. I have learned so much in the process. It has been quite a journey in and of itself. Some have compared it to giving birth and now I understand why!

You can purchase the physical book or Kindle version on Amazon here:

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year.  I was thrilled to be able to go back to GA in early December to attend the Richardson Family Christmas at my grandma’s house.  It was great to see my family and all my aunts/uncles/cousins that I hadn’t seen in so long – some as long as 14 years!  We were not all able to go, but I flew in for the weekend with Philip.

It looks like we will be adding yet another GIRL to our family!  Susanna Hope is due mid/end February.  Everybody is looking forward to her arrival.

My pregnancy was going beautifully – the best ever.  Unfortunately, on December 20th, preterm labor was triggered.  We were able to get the labor under control, but then I spent over two weeks on complete bedrest, as ANY activity triggered more contractions.  I expected bedrest to continue till it was safe for her to be born. ( as we have never been able to halt the threatened preterm labor once it started.

But God, in His mercy, has heard our prayers!  Over the last week, the contractions have lessened more each day.  The last few days I have been up and able to do what I need to do, including activities such as sweeping, laundry etc.

I have also started a new program for my Lymes Disease and am seeing great progress.  The neurological challanges have reduced significantly.  (For those who didn’t know, the Lyme spirochete burrowed holes throughout my brain, causing significant neurological problems, which have affected me on a daily basis, and my ability to function normally). The improvement over the past week has been dramatic.

In spite of being pregnant in my 3rd trimester, just getting off bedrest, our family recovering from weeks of sickness, I actually feel better than I have in many years!  Plus, for the first time in years, I am sleeping well.

We are so grateful to God for these blessings!  I would appreciate prayers that this improvement would hold, and even continue.

The kids and I started a new school years, and excitement abounds!  They love getting their new books and starting a new schedule.  They pour over curriculum catalogues and beg for more curricula and workbooks to add to what they already have.  Some of the older ones are already trying to plan what they get to do next year!  Rosy has about 3 years worth of work on her “wish list” for next year and is hoping that I will let her do it all.  I love that my children love to learn and we are all having a blast.


We are pleased to announce the birth of Susanna Hope Marr.  Susanna was born at 9:18 this morning (3-3-2015).  At 8 lbs 4 oz Susanna is officially my biggest baby yet!  Birth went well and both of us are doing well.

Posted by: Mexmarr | November 13, 2015




Wow, so much information to process!  The testing showed that my body (my organs and all that) is working at about a 50% of normal function. However, last year my immune response was extremely low, and now it is completely normal. That is a great improvement and a very good sign!

The blood flow to my brain is sluggish, and that would explain why my neurological challenges are recovering so slowly.

I still have a very high level of toxicity And my liver and my organs are very stressed. I have signs of yeast, candida and leaky gut. There is some hormonal imbalance. My thyroid and adrenals are off. My mitochondria are not functioning well.

I still have a lot of lymphatic congestion, but the lymph node around my jaw are much clearer than last year.

Dr Jowdy said that last year I was like a car whose engine was dead, and this year I was like a car with a functioning engine, but just enough gas to get around the corner.

It is helpful to see which areas are improving and where the bigger problems are. I have high hopes that the next two weeks will set the stage for the next level of healing.  The Lyme has done significant damage to my body, but we are well on the road to recovery!

I had another good appointment today.  We mostly did alignment stuff and the percussion thing.  The misalignments in my scull held quite well, from last year. That is a good sign! My pelvis area was totally messed up! My sacrum was tilted.  But overall, he did today what took 3 days to do last time, so he was please with where I was.

Dr. Jowdy said that I am still significantly more improved than the average patient is at this point.  He would normally expect this level of improvement with coming in 3-4 times a year for 2-3 years. So, I guess I don’t have too much to complain about!


Dr jowdy tested for ammonia and it is all gone.  I had it from head to toe last time.  It is cause when the dying spirochete are more than your liver can process.  My liver is not so great, but  we are not dealing with any more Lyme spirochete than my body can comfortably  handle.  That would put me in the stage often called, post Lyme syndrome.  Now, we need to treat the damage caused by the Lyme.   There will always be some Lyme, so keeping my body at optimal health is essential.  But, we are going the right direction.

We did neurological testing today, and I didn’t do so well. The muscle testing is so intriguing!  My brain just could process the designs on the cards, and even if I could hold my arm strong on some of the, the second he started to turn then, my arm went down.  He said that we will probably spend most of the remaining time on neurological stuff.

When I would hold my arms out and close my eyes and try to touch my nose, I would miss.  My brain is missing things that it should know instinctively.  There are still a lot of components to work on, neurologically.

.  Day 4 and 5 were both neurological treatment days. Essentially, the neuroconnectors in my brain are totally out of whack.  You know how many times I have said that it felt like my head was going to explode and I needed to get away and just give my brain a break?  Dr Jowdy said that was exactly what my brain needed – a break.  It was literally unable to process that amount of stimulation and was working overtime trying to do it.

There were commands on multiple levels that are off.  Thursday and Friday we worked on a lot of the visual aspect.  First there were many shapes and movements that my brain couldn’t process and also colors.  Add that together ( plus the sounds, which we haven’t worked on yet), I had good reason to feel like my brain was going to explode.  Continuing to expose my body to stimulation would be like trying to keep revving up the gas peddle in the car to make it run.  Eventually it causes the whole engine to stall out.  My body couldn’t be pushed, it needed just the opposite so that that it could begin to function again.

I knew that stuff, but I couldn’t understand why.  It is a relief to get scientific explanations for the areas I struggled with.  I felt like I should be able to push through, and knew I couldn’t do it.  I knew the more I tried, the worst I got.  Now, I can understand better.

Dr Jowdy’s goal for me it to balance my body in such a way that I can go home and actually process and deal with the stimulation that comes with daily life with a houseful of children.  It will take some time for the full healing to occur, but this is like the example we talked about last year about it being like a broken bone.  I am here at Hansa to get the bone set and in a cast, and then I go home and let it heal.  I will be glad to have a good plan.  I am so ready to move on to the next level of healing!

Posted by: Mexmarr | November 13, 2015

Baby Coming!

We are excited to announce that we will be having a new SON in November!!!  We are  looking forward to adding this new little blessing into our family. We will soon be a family of 9!

Andy was a little disappointed, as he was hoping for quintuplet boys – so they would outnumber the girls, but he has decided that he will be happy with just one brother.

Rosy is now 9 and she is in 3rd grade.  She enjoys most of her school, is learning to play the guitar,  and is growing into quite a helper. Gracie is 8  and she loves to spend her free time playing the piano. Both girls enjoy singing together, and with their Daddy.

Lizzie is 6 now and she is especially great with our animals.  If one of the goats get loose, she is the one to call! She likes to gather eggs, too.  Andy is 4, almost 5, and he is growing into a little man.  His favorite pastime is catching bugs, and feeding them to the chickens..

Bekah is 3 and she is happy that we will have 3 babies – her, Ruthie and the new baby.  Occasionally she realizes that she is better off calling herself a big girl, but she isn’t quite ready to give up her baby title yet. Ruthie is 1 and she is a delightful show-off who loves to make us laugh.  She doesn’t quite understand about the baby, but she loves her baby dolls, so I am sure she will be thrilled!

Nathan stays pretty busy between family, pastoring and work!  He doesn’t get much sleep, but things are going well.  He will be leaving this Saturday to take a group of men on a mission trip to Mexico with the Tarahumara Indians. He is really looking forward to that!

We enjoyed having my family here for a visit recently. My parents and 7 younger siblings were able to come up and spend a couple of weeks with us.  The kids really enjoyed having a houseful of Aunts and Uncles!

Life has been challenging for me, physically, over the past year. Almost a year ago I got very ill.  Over the course of a couple of weeks, I became pretty much an invalid.  I was unable to walk, was in intense pain 24/7 and had some severe neurological symptoms, among other symptoms.  After a few month we were finally able to get a diagnosis – chronic Lyme Disease.

In January, I went to a clinic in Kanas for people with chronic illness.  After going through their 2 week program I saw significant improvement.  But because of the nature of Lyme Disease, the healing journey will be a long slow process.  God has given us much grace as we walk through this journey and has blessed us and shown us His care for us in so many ways.

At this point, I am able to walk most of the time, and the pain comes in waves, but is usually pretty tolerable. I am pretty weak and am unable to do much activity. But we are taking it a day at a time. I still have to do a good bit of treatment every single day in order to function. I am slowly improving, though there are still plenty of ups and downs.
I want to share an article that I found with you. It was so spot on about the struggles I deal with daily.  I haven’t seen anything that really spells it out so well.  I thought it might help you understand a little better.

We thank God that the pregnancy is going perfectly! Baby looks great and there are NO signs of a risk for preterm labor. We are grateful for that.  I even had very little morning sickness.

We thank God for the journey that He has brought us on.  He has used it to grow us and mold us more into His image. We are learning to praise Him in the midst of the trials.  We would appreciate your continued prayers, as we still have a long way to go in this journey of recovery.

Posted by: Mexmarr | November 13, 2015


Jan 11-Jan 18 2013
11th They do say that also they are able to alleviate many of the symptoms at the clinic, most of the healing and recovery takes place in the months following, at home.  I will still need to follow the at-home protocol, so I do still have a ways to go.  But it is such a relief to start to feel alive again!

I would compare it to someone who had a nasty break in their arm.  Imagine if the bone was sticking way out.  Obviously, there is a serious problem.  Then they go get the bone set.  The removes the bulk of the symptoms.  But the break is not healed.  They go home and heal in a cast.  What we are doing at the clinic is like setting the arm.  It is putting my body in the correct position to be ready to heal.  I will be taking/doing a number of things specifically designed to heal the different areas of concern in my body at home.

Last night I walked all the way down the hall, smoothly, without my cane,.  I did get get pretty dizzy and things started to spin, but I DID IT!!!.  If I have the cane, and pause to let my head settle down, I am able to walk whatever I need to. That is beyond amazing.  Last week I struggled to lift my foot. Each step was painful.  If I went more than 8-10 feet I HAD to use the walker and I leaned heavily onto it.  Now I am just using the cane for balance.

The doctor said that my body was still weak and fragile, but it is responding very well to treatment.  I am thrilled about that, and am feeling so hopeful for recovery. I feel like I am getting my life back.

In the first test they did, one of the results gives your vitality.  Obviously 100% is what you want.  If you are still alive, even if your organs were shut down, the lowest it will go is 40%.  I tested at 60%.  So that give an idea of where I was at.  I have want to do that test again before I leave, just to see where I test again, because I am sure that it would be higher.  But not really.  It wasn’t very fun. Most of the time at the clinic I do enjoy, though.  They treat you so nice.

I wish I could give you all the detail of everything we are doing, but I don’t have nearly enough time.  It is so much stuff!  But the results so far are incredibly amazing!  Nathan said he feel like he is getting his wife back.  I made muffins one day and supper another.  That is so huge!

Jan 12 – I completed Week one of treatment here and, although I went into this optimistically, the results have far exceeded my expectations! I have received an amazing amount of benefit! I am getting a glimpse of what recovery will be like. We praise God for leading us here and for opening the doors for us to come. I am excited to see what next week will bring.

Jan 14 – Although I am receiving a significant reduction of symptoms here at The Hansa Center, they make it clear that most of the actual healing of my body will occur over the next few months, as I follow the at-home protocol. I would compare it to someone who had a nasty break in their arm. Imagine if the bone was sticking way out. Obviously, there is a serious problem. Then they go get the bone set. … This removes the bulk of the symptoms. But the break is not healed. They go home and heal in a cast. What we are doing at the clinic is like setting the arm. It is putting my body in the correct position to be ready to heal. I will be taking/doing a number of things specifically designed to heal the different areas of concern in my body at home. So, I would appreciate your continued prayers as I continue through this journey of healing.

Jan 17th – I can’t believe that I only have 2 days left! The time here has brought more recovery than I ever could have imagined. I am walking great now. We have been working a lot on the neurological issues the last few days. I have had to relearn how to move my arms in correlation with my legs, stand on one foot, walk a straight line, etc. But I am making great progress. This has been an exciting adventure and Nathan says that he has his wife back! We praise God for that! God is so good!

Jan 18th – I can’t believe that I only have 2 days left! The time here has brought more recovery than I ever could have imagined. I am walking great now. We have been working a lot on the neurological issues the last few days. I have had to relearn how to move my arms in correlation with my legs, stand on one foot, walk a straight line, etc. But I am making great progress. This has been an exciting adventure and Nathan says that he has his wife back! We praise God for that! God is so good.

Posted by: Mexmarr | November 13, 2015

My Diagnosis

After my Dad asked me about Lymes, I brought it up with my doctor.  She immediately thought it was definitely possible, and we tested right away.  The test is not necessarily conclusive, but we want to see what it says before we take the next step.  They are pretty pricy tests!  Here, Lymes is not the first thing they think of, as there aren’t ticks here.  But I have had plenty of ticks, and we learned that Lymes can lay dormat for many years.  Anyways, it totally IS possible that Lymes could be the cause of the Fibro, Chronic Fatigue and Mitochondrial Disfunction.

All of the treatments that I am doing now are part of the Lymes treatments, so we are going the right way, if that is it, though Lymes would have to be treated much more aggresively and there would be additional stuff.

Blood tests are showing that I am allergic to lots of different metals.  My blood work reacted to all the metals that I have in my crowns, so it is not just a murcury thing, it is all the metals.  I got half of my mouth fixed yesterday.  It is not a good thing to carry around things you are allergic to in your mouth all the time.  That is why I never could wear cheap earrings when I was little or cheap metal jewely.  I was allergic to them.  I also have high level of lead in my blood, so we will have to do treatments to remove that.

I am making some improvements.  On Sunday I was not able to go to church because I could barely take a step, and I wasn’t strong enough to go even with the walker.  But I have had some days this week that I could get around a bit.  I am still dealing with constant pain.  Some days it is still overpoweringly bad.  But some days it is less.  Over all it is less than before.  The pain is focused in my joints, especially in my fingers, wrists,knees and elbows, though my shoulders, hips and toes feel it too.  It is a pain to live like that, lol.

Our church has been a blessing and they are trying to have someone come over part of the day on Nathan’s work days, and providing suppers for us on those days.  People have really been a blessing and we are grateful.

My doctor is happy with my improvements.  She says I am going the right direction.  It feels like baby steps to me, but at least it is in the right direction.  One thing that has definitely improved is the brain fog is less.  Sometimes it is still pretty bad and I just can’t think, but it is improving more than anything, so far.

But in spite of improvement, I am still practically an invalid.  It has now been 3 long months of this.  It has been very hard in many ways.  Nathan has had to carry a lot of extra weight, and I know that it hurts him to see me like this.  It is hard for me to not be able to do all the things that I feel like I should be doing.  But God has been good to us in the middle of it, and He is using these trials to grow and strengthen us.

Last night Nathan said to me.  “We have such an ideal life.  God has blessed us in so many ways.”  I am so grateful that he is able to look past the very difficult circumstances and see all the ways that God has blessed us.  And he was right.  God IS good.  All the time.

The kids are all doing pretty good.  Life is a little upside down for them.  We don’t have much schedule going on, we are just trying to make it through each day and to make each day positive.  We aren’t doing much school right now, but Rosy is doing her Math.  She is still enjoying it and doing well.  She is already on the 2nd CD. Ruthie is pulling up all over the place, and is cutting her 4th tooth.  Most of the kids weren’t even crawling and had no teeth at this age.  She is 7 months now.  She is such a good baby.

Overall, I have been slowly, but gradually improving.  On good days I can shuffle around a little bit.  I would still need a walker if I don’t have a wall of furniature to help me out.

But the past 2 days my joint pain has really increased.  A lot.  Especially in my wrist, but also elbows, fingers, hips, knees, shoulders.  My wrists feel like they are about to give out when I put pressure on them, and the pain is enough to cause me to cry out, and I fall back down.  However, I cannot stand up without putting my weight on my arms.  My legs aren’t strong enough to do it.

So, please pray that my wrists will improve before Nathan has to return to work on Monday.  I have to be able to stand up.

I am weary of pain.  I appreciate your prayers.

Posted by: Mexmarr | September 12, 2012

What is wrong with me???

We had a good appointment last Friday, and we got a lot of information.  Let’s start with the Mitochondrial Dysfunction.  The Mitochondria is the part of your cells that produce energy.  I have a significant amount of Oxidative Stress and my Mitochondria are damaged.  The cell walls are breaking down and they are unable to deal with the toxins that come in.  And by default, they are unable to produce the energy that my body needs to function.

Other test results are showing that my intestinal tract is working on a high level of stress, even when not stress under stress.  Basically, it is allowing the toxins that go in my body, and would normally be eliminated, to seep back into my body.  This level of toxic overload is causing the oxidative stress and the damage to the Mytochondria.

So, it is working like a vicious cycle.  The more the toxins are seeping in, the more my cells are damaged.  The more cellular damage, the less they can handle the toxins.  Thus, I have a very high level of oxidative stress.  Also, because of all this damage, my body is unable to assimilate the nutrients that I do take in, which is hindering the cells from recovering.

All of this causes levels of inflammation in my body, and that is the cause of the high levels of pain.  My joints are especially targeted.  This is also why I am so extremely fatigues and exhausted.

These days I measure my energy on how long I can bounce on my rebounder.  On bad days, I cannot get my feet off the mat at all.  On my best days I can lightly jump for 2 minutes.  I seem to cycle between 2-3 bad days, 2 good days, and a few in between days per week. But even the good days are filled with pain and exhaustion.  I told Nathan that it feels like I have a vice grip on my joints.  Some days it is so tight I can’t stand it, and some days it loosen up for a bit of relief.  But it is still there.

Our first level of treatment will be focused on healing the intestional tract, to reduce the toxins seeping into my body, and allow me to better utilize what goes in.  After a month or two of that, we will move into a mitochondrial healing protocol.  We are also doing nutritional IV’s that will infuse nutrients directly into my bloodstream, bypassing the parts of my body not working.

We are still waiting for the results of blood testing that will clarify exactly where my body is nutritionally and what are the most specific needs.  Tests also indicate thyroid issues and we are waiting for results on that, as well. We are also waiting on some allergy testing.  We are suspecting a milk allergy that may have played a role in all of this.

So, all in all, I am very sick, in pain, and can barely function.  Basically my body reached a point that it could not handle the internal damage, and it crashed.  I have brain fog and dizziness frequently.  The doctor believes that this can be reversed, and estimates a timeframe of 9-12 months.

I greatly appreciate the prayers and support.  This has been hard on the whole family.  I feel like it is a nightmare, and I just want to wake up.  But this is where we are.  I am grateful to know what we are dealing with and to have hope for the future.

God has been so good to us in the midst of this trial.  He has met needs just when I most needed them.  He is giving me the strength to carry on when I feel like giving up. But we still really need your prayers on a daily basis!

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